Senin, 31 Maret 2008

Sex Education Acceptable In Islam

"There is no shame in knowing one's religion. Ask everything that you do not understand."
Islamic Scholar, Sheikh Sanusi Gumbi of Kaduna, Nigeria, is interviewed by Ilyasu Ibn Muhammad.

Q: At what age should a child be taught sex education?

Gumbi : As we all know, there is nothing which Islam has not taught its followers. Sex education in Islam is taught theoretically and not practically. If a child is being taught sex education it is not permissible for his teacher to come into body contact with him during the period of study. As long as a person has reached the age of puberty, it is not permissible for him/her to see the thigh of another person. However, sex education can be taught properly. When we look at the book of Buhari, a hadith from the Prophet (PBUH) shows where he (the Prophet) was teaching his companions how to perform purification bath, he said, "if he sits in between her (thighs) and exhausts her, then a purification bath becomes compulsory." Here, he only made a statement which explains how intercourse may take place, but he did not say come and sit here let me demonstrate how it is done. Therefore when teaching, there is no harm in explaining how it is done. There is even no harm in drawing on the board, but not when the teacher and his students come in contact. We have books in Islam, which explain the purification bath, what spoils ablution; some of these things explains how the sperm or semen is emitted.

Q: Still, at what age should a child know about sexual intercourse?

Gumbi: In modern times, a child of primary school, say age seven, should start knowing these things, before he/she becomes fully mature.

Q: Is it proper for children to start knowing about sexual oriented vices like homosexuality at such age?

Gumbi: Yes, it is in Islamic books of jurisprudence and history. It has shown that homosexuality and their likes exist. Children should be taught about this, likewise the punishment for it. If you go to our settlements in Northern Nigeria, remote areas where we grew up, you will find young children learning about these things. They learn about them and their punishments, so that by the time they grow up and mature, they will know how to deal with such cases. They should know that it is forbidden.

Q: What is the Islamic perspective on masturbation. Is it proper for young children to learn it?

Gumbi: Whatever it is that Allah has ordered mankind to adhere to and forbid them from, there is no harm in young children knowing about them. They should know them thoroughly and then learn their virtues and vices. All that matters is that they should not see them being done practically, so that they will not attempt doing it.

Q: What is the Islamic view on contraception and what effect does it have on children knowing about them?

Gumbi: Teaching children about contraceptives such as condom, is like encouraging them to go and have sex, because in the Hausa culture, what makes one to migrate to another area is the issue of pregnating a woman out of wedlock. With the introduction of condoms, these people of shameful character have found an avenue to do so as they wish. Therefore it has become necessary for children to know that these things have negative effects, even if they have advantages. They should know that it should be used when lawfully married.

Q: Is it permissible for young children to know the intensity of sexual arousement, like where to touch, how a partner should react, and other heated sensations, which cannot be mentioned here?

Gumbi: If it is all in explanation, there is no fault. In Abu Hanifah's school of thought, he said, there is no harm for a person seeking marriage to smell the lady he intends marrying and vice versa and there is also no harm for them looking at each other properly, because they are expected to be life partners. there is no harm in children knowing all these things. All that matters is that there should be no practicals. As a young man growing up, there was a time my Mallam [teacher] was teaching me, you know how raw Sokoto Hausa is [the local language], he said penis in Hausa, he said virgina in Hausa and then was explaining how one enters the other then I laughed, he cautioned me not to laugh and said that "fiqhu cannot be taught without explanation." Even the Prophet (PBUH) was asked by a woman as is narrated by a Hadith reported by Aisha. The woman asked what the Islamic injunction of a woman who sees what a man sees, she was referring to wet dreams, because a woman can have a wet dream just as a man does. Before the Prophet (PBUH) was able to answer, Aisha said to the woman "why are you asking such a question? do you want to embarrass us in front of the Prophet?" the Prophet then said there is no shame in knowing one's religion. Ask everything that you do not understand.

Q: In this part of the country, the mention of sexuality education makes people jittery due to lack of the knowledge of fiqh. Or is it the normal culture here?

Gumbi: People here like to wear the garb of ignorance whereas they know what is true. Somehow they are 100 years backwards. Even what they read in the fiqh books have not fully been comprehended. When in the past sexuality education was not taught, it led people to pregnanting women out of wedlock, which is very shameful. Islam is not against theoretical sex education. It only frowns at the practical aspect. Sex is a natural thing. no animal is taught it. it happens naturally.

Q: What is the Islamic view on abortion?

Gumbi: Abortion in Islam is haram (forbidden). However, there is the permissible abortion where a married woman is concerned, where it is discovered that if a child would become a nuisance to people if it was born with some deformity or something of that nature. Now, questions where thrown to scholars, where it was agreed that abortion is haram, except in a case where the foetus has not yet matured to become a living being.

Q: Still on sex education, some have the view that sex education should be left as parent's responsibility. What is your view?

Gumbi: There are schools where human mannequins are brought in front of the class and these mannequins are used to demonstrate the sexual act. Muslims have frowned at such demonstrations because children would practice it when it is practically shown to them. However, it has to be taught because children will mature and like we have been stressing, it should be taught theoretically, so that when these children mature, they will know what to do in the light of difficult circumstances and situations that arise in relation to sexual intercourse.

Source : http://www.islamfortoday.com/sex01.htm

Kamis, 27 Maret 2008

Talking to toddlers and preschoolers about sex

Sex education can begin anytime. Here's how to set the stage — and how to answer your children's questions.

Sex education is a topic many parents would prefer to avoid. And if you have young children, you might think you're off the hook — at least for a while. But that's not necessarily true. Sex education can begin anytime. Let your children set the pace with their questions.

Early exploration

As children learn to walk and talk, they also begin to learn about their bodies. Open the door to sex education by teaching your children the proper names for their sex organs, perhaps during bath time. If your children point to a body part, simply tell them what it is. This is also a good time to talk about which parts of the body are private.

When your children ask questions about their bodies — or yours — don't giggle, laugh or get embarrassed. Take their questions at face value. Offer direct, age-appropriate responses. If your children want to know more, they'll ask.

Expect self-stimulation

Many toddlers express their natural sexual curiosity through self-stimulation. Boys may pull at their penises, and girls may rub their external genitalia. Teach your children that masturbation is a normal — but private — activity. If your child starts masturbating in public, try to distract him or her. If that fails, take your child aside for a reminder about the importance of privacy.

Sometimes, frequent masturbation can indicate a problem in a child's life. Perhaps he or she feels anxious or isn't receiving enough attention at home. It can even be a sign of sexual abuse. Teach your children that no one is allowed to touch the private parts of their bodies without permission. If you're concerned about your child's behavior, consult his or her doctor.

Curiosity about others

By age 3 or 4, children often realize that boys and girls have different genitals. As natural curiosity kicks in, you may find your children playing "doctor" or examining each other's sex organs. This exploration is far removed from adult sexual activity, and it's harmless when only young children are involved. As a family matter, however, you may want to set limits on such exploration.

Everyday moments are key

Take advantage of everyday opportunities to discuss sex. If there's a pregnancy in the family, for example, tell your children that babies grow in a special place inside the mother. If your children want more details on how the baby got there or how the baby will be born, offer them.

Consider these examples :

  • How do babies get inside a mommy's tummy? You might say: "A mom and a dad make a baby by holding each other in a special way."
  • How are babies born? For some kids, it might be enough to say: "Doctors and nurses help babies who are ready to be born." If your children want more details, you might say: "Usually a mom pushes the baby out of her vagina."
  • Why doesn't everyone have a penis? Try a simple explanation, such as: "Boys and girls bodies are made differently."
  • Why do you have hair down there? Simplicity often works here, too. You might say: "Our bodies change as we get older." If your children want more details, add: "Boys grow hair near their penises, and girls grow hair near their vaginas."

As your children mature and ask more detailed questions, you can provide more detailed responses. Answer specific questions using correct terminology. Even if you're uncomfortable, forge ahead. Remember, you're setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the years to come.

Source : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sex-education/HQ00547